Henry IV, Part 2: Act 5, Scene 5

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    A public place near Westminster Abbey.

    Scene Summary

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    Henry V rides in royal procession. Falstaff pushes forward and calls out to him. The king turns and addresses him publicly: 'I know thee not, old man.' He banishes Falstaff ten miles from his person, provides a small allowance to prevent actual starvation, and warns that any improvement in behaviour may lead to further favour. The Lord Chief Justice takes Falstaff away. Prince John tells Westmoreland that Henry has already called Parliament — a campaign to France is being prepared. The play ends with Falstaff's humiliation and Henry V's cold efficiency.

    Enter two Grooms, strewing rushes
    First Groom
    More rushes, more rushes.
    Second Groom
    The trumpets have sounded twice.
    First Groom
    'Twill be two o'clock ere they come from the
    coronation: dispatch, dispatch.
    Exeunt
    Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and Page
    FALSTAFF
    Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will
    make the king do you grace: I will leer upon him as
    a' comes by; and do but mark the countenance that he
    will give me.
    PISTOL
    God bless thy lungs, good knight.
    FALSTAFF
    Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. O, if I had had
    time to have made new liveries, I would have
    bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you. But
    'tis no matter; this poor show doth better: this
    doth infer the zeal I had to see him.
    SHALLOW
    It doth so.
    FALSTAFF
    It shows my earnestness of affection,--
    SHALLOW
    It doth so.
    FALSTAFF
    My devotion,--
    SHALLOW
    It doth, it doth, it doth.
    FALSTAFF
    As it were, to ride day and night; and not to
    deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience
    to shift me,--
    SHALLOW
    It is best, certain.
    FALSTAFF
    But to stand stained with travel, and sweating with
    desire to see him; thinking of nothing else,
    putting all affairs else in oblivion, as if there
    were nothing else to be done but to see him.
    PISTOL
    'Tis 'semper idem,' for 'obsque hoc nihil est:'
    'tis all in every part.
    SHALLOW
    'Tis so, indeed.
    PISTOL
    My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver,
    And make thee rage.
    Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
    Is in base durance and contagious prison;
    Haled thither
    By most mechanical and dirty hand:
    Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell
    Alecto's snake,
    For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.
    FALSTAFF
    I will deliver her.
    Shouts within, and the trumpets sound
    PISTOL
    There roar'd the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.
    Enter KING HENRY V and his train, the Lord Chief- Justice among them
    FALSTAFF
    God save thy grace, King Hal! my royal Hal!
    PISTOL
    The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of fame!
    FALSTAFF
    God save thee, my sweet boy!
    KING HENRY IV
    My lord chief-justice, speak to that vain man.
    Lord Chief-Justice Have you your wits? know you what 'tis to speak?
    FALSTAFF
    My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
    KING HENRY IV
    I know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers;
    How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
    I have long dream'd of such a kind of man,
    So surfeit-swell'd, so old and so profane;
    But, being awaked, I do despise my dream.
    Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace;
    Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
    For thee thrice wider than for other men.
    Reply not to me with a fool-born jest:
    Presume not that I am the thing I was;
    For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
    That I have turn'd away my former self;
    So will I those that kept me company.
    When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
    Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
    The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
    Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death,
    As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
    Not to come near our person by ten mile.
    For competence of life I will allow you,
    That lack of means enforce you not to evil:
    And, as we hear you do reform yourselves,
    We will, according to your strengths and qualities,
    Give you advancement. Be it your charge, my lord,
    To see perform'd the tenor of our word. Set on.
    Exeunt KING HENRY V, & c
    FALSTAFF
    Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pound.
    SHALLOW
    Yea, marry, Sir John; which I beseech you to let me
    have home with me.
    FALSTAFF
    That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not you
    grieve at this; I shall be sent for in private to
    him: look you, he must seem thus to the world:
    fear not your advancements; I will be the man yet
    that shall make you great.
    SHALLOW
    I cannot well perceive how, unless you should give
    me your doublet and stuff me out with straw. I
    beseech you, good Sir John, let me have five hundred
    of my thousand.
    FALSTAFF
    Sir, I will be as good as my word: this that you
    heard was but a colour.
    SHALLOW
    A colour that I fear you will die in, Sir John.
    FALSTAFF
    Fear no colours: go with me to dinner: come,
    Lieutenant Pistol; come, Bardolph: I shall be sent
    for soon at night.
    Re-enter Prince John of LANCASTER, the Lord Chief-Justice; Officers with them
    Lord Chief-Justice Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet:
    Take all his company along with him.
    FALSTAFF
    My lord, my lord,--
    Lord Chief-Justice I cannot now speak: I will hear you soon.
    Take them away.
    PISTOL
    Si fortune me tormenta, spero contenta.
    Exeunt all but PRINCE JOHN and the Lord Chief-Justice
    LANCASTER
    I like this fair proceeding of the king's:
    He hath intent his wonted followers
    Shall all be very well provided for;
    But all are banish'd till their conversations
    Appear more wise and modest to the world.
    Lord Chief-Justice And so they are.
    LANCASTER
    The king hath call'd his parliament, my lord.
    Lord Chief-Justice He hath.
    LANCASTER
    I will lay odds that, ere this year expire,
    We bear our civil swords and native fire
    As far as France: I beard a bird so sing,
    Whose music, to my thinking, pleased the king.
    Come, will you hence?
    Exeunt