Henry V: Act 2, Scene 1

history

London. A street.

Scene Summary

London streets. Bardolph and Nym are quarrelling over Mistress Quickly — both claim some right to her, though Pistol has married her. The fight is interrupted by news that Falstaff, who was supposed to sail with the army, is gravely ill at the Boar's Head.

Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH

BARDOLPH

Well met, Corporal Nym.

NYM

Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.

BARDOLPH

What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?

NYM

For my part, I care not: I say little; but when

time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that

shall be as it may. I dare not fight; but I will

wink and hold out mine iron: it is a simple one; but

what though? it will toast cheese, and it will

endure cold as another man's sword will: and

there's an end.

BARDOLPH

I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and

we'll be all three sworn brothers to France: let it

be so, good Corporal Nym.

NYM

Faith, I will live so long as I may, that's the

certain of it; and when I cannot live any longer, I

will do as I may: that is my rest, that is the

rendezvous of it.

BARDOLPH

It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell

Quickly: and certainly she did you wrong; for you

were troth-plight to her.

NYM

I cannot tell: things must be as they may: men may

sleep, and they may have their throats about them at

that time; and some say knives have edges. It must

be as it may: though patience be a tired mare, yet

she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I

cannot tell.

Enter PISTOL and Hostess

BARDOLPH

Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife: good

corporal, be patient here. How now, mine host Pistol!

PISTOL

Base tike, call'st thou me host? Now, by this hand,

I swear, I scorn the term; Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.

Hostess

No, by my troth, not long; for we cannot lodge and

board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live

honestly by the prick of their needles, but it will

be thought we keep a bawdy house straight.

NYM and PISTOL draw

O well a day, Lady, if he be not drawn now! we

shall see wilful adultery and murder committed.

BARDOLPH

Good lieutenant! good corporal! offer nothing here.

NYM

Pish!

PISTOL

Pish for thee, Iceland dog! thou prick-ear'd cur of Iceland!

Hostess

Good Corporal Nym, show thy valour, and put up your sword.

NYM

Will you shog off? I would have you solus.

PISTOL

'Solus,' egregious dog? O viper vile!

The 'solus' in thy most mervailous face;

The 'solus' in thy teeth, and in thy throat,

And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,

And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!

I do retort the 'solus' in thy bowels;

For I can take, and Pistol's cock is up,

And flashing fire will follow.

NYM

I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an

humour to knock you indifferently well. If you grow

foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my

rapier, as I may, in fair terms: if you would walk

off, I would prick your guts a little, in good

terms, as I may: and that's the humour of it.

PISTOL

O braggart vile and damned furious wight!

The grave doth gape, and doting death is near;

Therefore exhale.

BARDOLPH

Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the

first stroke, I'll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier.

Draws

PISTOL

An oath of mickle might; and fury shall abate.

Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give:

Thy spirits are most tall.

NYM

I will cut thy throat, one time or other, in fair

terms: that is the humour of it.

PISTOL

'Couple a gorge!'

That is the word. I thee defy again.

O hound of Crete, think'st thou my spouse to get?

No; to the spital go,

And from the powdering tub of infamy

Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid's kind,

Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse:

I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly

For the only she; and--pauca, there's enough. Go to.

Enter the Boy

Boy

Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master, and

you, hostess: he is very sick, and would to bed.

Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and

do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he's very ill.

BARDOLPH

Away, you rogue!

Hostess

By my troth, he'll yield the crow a pudding one of

these days. The king has killed his heart. Good

husband, come home presently.

Exeunt Hostess and Boy

BARDOLPH

Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to

France together: why the devil should we keep

knives to cut one another's throats?

PISTOL

Let floods o'erswell, and fiends for food howl on!

NYM

You'll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?

PISTOL

Base is the slave that pays.

NYM

That now I will have: that's the humour of it.

PISTOL

As manhood shall compound: push home.

They draw

BARDOLPH

By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I'll

kill him; by this sword, I will.

PISTOL

Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course.

BARDOLPH

Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends:

an thou wilt not, why, then, be enemies with me too.

Prithee, put up.

NYM

I shall have my eight shillings I won of you at betting?

PISTOL

A noble shalt thou have, and present pay;

And liquor likewise will I give to thee,

And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood:

I'll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me;

Is not this just? for I shall sutler be

Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.

Give me thy hand.

NYM

I shall have my noble?

PISTOL

In cash most justly paid.

NYM

Well, then, that's the humour of't.

Re-enter Hostess

Hostess

As ever you came of women, come in quickly to Sir

John. Ah, poor heart! he is so shaked of a burning

quotidian tertian, that it is most lamentable to

behold. Sweet men, come to him.

NYM

The king hath run bad humours on the knight; that's

the even of it.

PISTOL

Nym, thou hast spoke the right;

His heart is fracted and corroborate.

NYM

The king is a good king: but it must be as it may;

he passes some humours and careers.

PISTOL

Let us condole the knight; for, lambkins we will live.