The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act 3, Scene 2

    comedy

    A street.

    Scene Summary

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    Ford sees Falstaff walking toward his house and gathers Page, Caius and Evans to come and search the place with him.

    Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to
    be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether
    had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?
    ROBIN
    I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
    than follow him like a dwarf.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    O, you are a flattering boy: now I see you'll be a courtier.
    Enter FORD
    FORD
    Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?
    FORD
    Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want
    of company. I think, if your husbands were dead,
    you two would marry.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Be sure of that,--two other husbands.
    FORD
    Where had you this pretty weather-cock?
    MISTRESS PAGE
    I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my
    husband had him of. What do you call your knight's
    name, sirrah?
    ROBIN
    Sir John Falstaff.
    FORD
    Sir John Falstaff!
    MISTRESS PAGE
    He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such a
    league between my good man and he! Is your wife at
    home indeed?
    FORD
    Indeed she is.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see her.
    Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN
    FORD
    Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any
    thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them.
    Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile, as
    easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve
    score. He pieces out his wife's inclination; he
    gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she's
    going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A
    man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And
    Falstaff's boy with her! Good plots, they are laid;
    and our revolted wives share damnation together.
    Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck
    the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming
    Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and
    wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all
    my neighbours shall cry aim.
    Clock heard
    The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me
    search: there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be
    rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as
    positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is
    there: I will go.
    Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, Host, SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY
    SHALLOW
    PAGE
    & C
    Well met, Master Ford.
    FORD
    Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home;
    and I pray you all go with me.
    SHALLOW
    I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
    SLENDER
    And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine with
    Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for
    more money than I'll speak of.
    SHALLOW
    We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and
    my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.
    SLENDER
    I hope I have your good will, father Page.
    PAGE
    You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you:
    but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.
    DOCTOR CAIUS
    Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a
    Quickly tell me so mush.
    Host
    What say you to young Master Fenton? he capers, he
    dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he
    speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will
    carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in his buttons; he
    will carry't.
    PAGE
    Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is
    of no having: he kept company with the wild prince
    and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too
    much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes
    with the finger of my substance: if he take her,
    let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on
    my consent, and my consent goes not that way.
    FORD
    I beseech you heartily, some of you go home with me
    to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have
    sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor,
    you shall go; so shall you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.
    SHALLOW
    Well, fare you well: we shall have the freer wooing
    at Master Page's.
    Exeunt SHALLOW, and SLENDER
    DOCTOR CAIUS
    Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.
    Exit RUGBY
    Host
    Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight
    Falstaff, and drink canary with him.
    Exit
    FORD
    [Aside] I think I shall drink in pipe wine first
    with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?
    All
    Have with you to see this monster.
    Exeunt