The Tempest: Act 3, Scene 2

    comedy

    Another part of the island.

    Scene Summary

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    Caliban, Stephano and Trinculo are drunk. Caliban tells Stephano about Prospero's books — if they destroy the books, his magic fails. He proposes they kill Prospero while he sleeps, take Miranda, and Stephano can rule the island. Ariel plays invisible music that confuses them and leads them away.

    Enter CALIBAN, STEPHANO, and TRINCULO
    STEPHANO
    Tell not me; when the butt is out, we will drink
    water; not a drop before: therefore bear up, and
    board 'em. Servant-monster, drink to me.
    TRINCULO
    Servant-monster! the folly of this island! They
    say there's but five upon this isle: we are three
    of them; if th' other two be brained like us, the
    state totters.
    STEPHANO
    Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes
    are almost set in thy head.
    TRINCULO
    Where should they be set else? he were a brave
    monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.
    STEPHANO
    My man-monster hath drown'd his tongue in sack:
    for my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere I
    could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues off
    and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant,
    monster, or my standard.
    TRINCULO
    Your lieutenant, if you list; he's no standard.
    STEPHANO
    We'll not run, Monsieur Monster.
    TRINCULO
    Nor go neither; but you'll lie like dogs and yet say
    nothing neither.
    STEPHANO
    Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a
    good moon-calf.
    CALIBAN
    How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe.
    I'll not serve him; he's not valiant.
    TRINCULO
    Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to
    justle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou,
    was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much
    sack as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie,
    being but half a fish and half a monster?
    CALIBAN
    Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my lord?
    TRINCULO
    'Lord' quoth he! That a monster should be such a natural!
    CALIBAN
    Lo, lo, again! bite him to death, I prithee.
    STEPHANO
    Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you
    prove a mutineer,--the next tree! The poor monster's
    my subject and he shall not suffer indignity.
    CALIBAN
    I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased to
    hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?
    STEPHANO
    Marry, will I kneel and repeat it; I will stand,
    and so shall Trinculo.
    Enter ARIEL, invisible
    CALIBAN
    As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a
    sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the island.
    ARIEL
    Thou liest.
    CALIBAN
    Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou: I would my
    valiant master would destroy thee! I do not lie.
    STEPHANO
    Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in's tale, by
    this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.
    TRINCULO
    Why, I said nothing.
    STEPHANO
    Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.
    CALIBAN
    I say, by sorcery he got this isle;
    From me he got it. if thy greatness will
    Revenge it on him,--for I know thou darest,
    But this thing dare not,--
    STEPHANO
    That's most certain.
    CALIBAN
    Thou shalt be lord of it and I'll serve thee.
    STEPHANO
    How now shall this be compassed?
    Canst thou bring me to the party?
    CALIBAN
    Yea, yea, my lord: I'll yield him thee asleep,
    Where thou mayst knock a nail into his bead.
    ARIEL
    Thou liest; thou canst not.
    CALIBAN
    What a pied ninny's this! Thou scurvy patch!
    I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows
    And take his bottle from him: when that's gone
    He shall drink nought but brine; for I'll not show him
    Where the quick freshes are.
    STEPHANO
    Trinculo, run into no further danger:
    interrupt the monster one word further, and,
    by this hand, I'll turn my mercy out o' doors
    and make a stock-fish of thee.
    TRINCULO
    Why, what did I? I did nothing. I'll go farther
    off.
    STEPHANO
    Didst thou not say he lied?
    ARIEL
    Thou liest.
    STEPHANO
    Do I so? take thou that.
    Beats TRINCULO
    As you like this, give me the lie another time.
    TRINCULO
    I did not give the lie. Out o' your
    wits and bearing too? A pox o' your bottle!
    this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on
    your monster, and the devil take your fingers!
    CALIBAN
    Ha, ha, ha!
    STEPHANO
    Now, forward with your tale. Prithee, stand farther
    off.
    CALIBAN
    Beat him enough: after a little time
    I'll beat him too.
    STEPHANO
    Stand farther. Come, proceed.
    CALIBAN
    Why, as I told thee, 'tis a custom with him,
    I' th' afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him,
    Having first seized his books, or with a log
    Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
    Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember
    First to possess his books; for without them
    He's but a sot, as I am, nor hath not
    One spirit to command: they all do hate him
    As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.
    He has brave utensils,--for so he calls them--
    Which when he has a house, he'll deck withal
    And that most deeply to consider is
    The beauty of his daughter; he himself
    Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman,
    But only Sycorax my dam and she;
    But she as far surpasseth Sycorax
    As great'st does least.
    STEPHANO
    Is it so brave a lass?
    CALIBAN
    Ay, lord; she will become thy bed, I warrant.
    And bring thee forth brave brood.
    STEPHANO
    Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I
    will be king and queen--save our graces!--and
    Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou
    like the plot, Trinculo?
    TRINCULO
    Excellent.
    STEPHANO
    Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but,
    while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head.
    CALIBAN
    Within this half hour will he be asleep:
    Wilt thou destroy him then?
    STEPHANO
    Ay, on mine honour.
    ARIEL
    This will I tell my master.
    CALIBAN
    Thou makest me merry; I am full of pleasure:
    Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch
    You taught me but while-ere?
    STEPHANO
    At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any
    reason. Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.
    Sings
    Flout 'em and scout 'em
    And scout 'em and flout 'em
    Thought is free.
    CALIBAN
    That's not the tune.
    Ariel plays the tune on a tabour and pipe
    STEPHANO
    What is this same?
    TRINCULO
    This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture
    of Nobody.
    STEPHANO
    If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness:
    if thou beest a devil, take't as thou list.
    TRINCULO
    O, forgive me my sins!
    STEPHANO
    He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee. Mercy upon us!
    CALIBAN
    Art thou afeard?
    STEPHANO
    No, monster, not I.
    CALIBAN
    Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises,
    Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
    Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
    Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices
    That, if I then had waked after long sleep,
    Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,
    The clouds methought would open and show riches
    Ready to drop upon me that, when I waked,
    I cried to dream again.
    STEPHANO
    This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall
    have my music for nothing.
    CALIBAN
    When Prospero is destroyed.
    STEPHANO
    That shall be by and by: I remember the story.
    TRINCULO
    The sound is going away; let's follow it, and
    after do our work.
    STEPHANO
    Lead, monster; we'll follow. I would I could see
    this tabourer; he lays it on.
    TRINCULO
    Wilt come? I'll follow, Stephano.
    Exeunt