Twelfth Night: Act 4, Scene 1

    comedy

    Before OLIVIA's house.

    Scene Summary

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    Sebastian is mistaken for Cesario by the clown Feste, then by Sir Andrew, who punches him. Sebastian hits back. Sir Toby grabs Sebastian. Olivia arrives, sends them all away, and invites Sebastian — whom she thinks is Cesario — inside. Sebastian is baffled but enchanted by a beautiful woman who appears to be in love with him. He goes in.

    Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown
    Clown
    Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
    SEBASTIAN
    Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow:
    Let me be clear of thee.
    Clown
    Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor
    I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come
    speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario;
    nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.
    SEBASTIAN
    I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else: Thou
    know'st not me.
    Clown
    Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some
    great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my
    folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world,
    will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy
    strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my
    lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming?
    SEBASTIAN
    I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me: There's
    money for thee: if you tarry longer, I shall give
    worse payment.
    Clown
    By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men
    that give fools money get themselves a good
    report--after fourteen years' purchase.
    Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN
    SIR ANDREW
    Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you.
    SEBASTIAN
    Why, there's for thee, and there, and there. Are all
    the people mad?
    SIR TOBY BELCH
    Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house.
    Clown
    This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be
    in some of your coats for two pence.
    Exit
    SIR TOBY BELCH
    Come on, sir; hold.
    SIR ANDREW
    Nay, let him alone: I'll go another way to work
    with him; I'll have an action of battery against
    him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I
    struck him first, yet it's no matter for that.
    SEBASTIAN
    Let go thy hand.
    SIR TOBY BELCH
    Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young
    soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.
    SEBASTIAN
    I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If
    thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword.
    SIR TOBY BELCH
    What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two
    of this malapert blood from you.
    Enter OLIVIA
    OLIVIA
    Hold, Toby; on thy life I charge thee, hold!
    SIR TOBY BELCH
    Madam!
    OLIVIA
    Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
    Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
    Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my sight!
    Be not offended, dear Cesario.
    Rudesby, be gone!
    Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN
    I prithee, gentle friend,
    Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
    In this uncivil and thou unjust extent
    Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
    And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
    This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby
    Mayst smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go:
    Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,
    He started one poor heart of mine in thee.
    SEBASTIAN
    What relish is in this? how runs the stream?
    Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:
    Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
    If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
    OLIVIA
    Nay, come, I prithee; would thou'ldst be ruled by me!
    SEBASTIAN
    Madam, I will.
    OLIVIA
    O, say so, and so be!
    Exeunt