The Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act 1, Scene 2

    comedy

    The same. Garden of JULIA's house.

    Scene Summary

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    Julia and her waiting-woman Lucetta discuss the various men courting her. Lucetta thinks Proteus is the best of them. Lucetta produces the letter Speed delivered from Proteus and Julia initially refuses to take it, then pretends to throw it away, then retrieves it and tears it up, then sits on the floor piecing it back together to find Proteus's name. Her performance of indifference fools nobody — least of all Lucetta. Julia's feelings for Proteus are obvious, and the game she plays here makes her one of the play's most sympathetically drawn characters.

    Enter JULlA and LUCETTA
    JULIA
    But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
    Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
    LUCETTA
    Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
    JULIA
    Of all the fair resort of gentlemen
    That every day with parle encounter me,
    In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
    LUCETTA
    Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind
    According to my shallow simple skill.
    JULIA
    What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
    LUCETTA
    As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;
    But, were I you, he never should be mine.
    JULIA
    What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
    LUCETTA
    Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.
    JULIA
    What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?
    LUCETTA
    Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!
    JULIA
    How now! what means this passion at his name?
    LUCETTA
    Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shame
    That I, unworthy body as I am,
    Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
    JULIA
    Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?
    LUCETTA
    Then thus: of many good I think him best.
    JULIA
    Your reason?
    LUCETTA
    I have no other, but a woman's reason;
    I think him so because I think him so.
    JULIA
    And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?
    LUCETTA
    Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
    JULIA
    Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
    LUCETTA
    Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.
    JULIA
    His little speaking shows his love but small.
    LUCETTA
    Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.
    JULIA
    They do not love that do not show their love.
    LUCETTA
    O, they love least that let men know their love.
    JULIA
    I would I knew his mind.
    LUCETTA
    Peruse this paper, madam.
    JULIA
    'To Julia.' Say, from whom?
    LUCETTA
    That the contents will show.
    JULIA
    Say, say, who gave it thee?
    LUCETTA
    Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.
    He would have given it you; but I, being in the way,
    Did in your name receive it: pardon the
    fault I pray.
    JULIA
    Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!
    Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?
    To whisper and conspire against my youth?
    Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth
    And you an officer fit for the place.
    Or else return no more into my sight.
    LUCETTA
    To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
    JULIA
    Will ye be gone?
    LUCETTA
    That you may ruminate.
    Exit
    JULIA
    And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter:
    It were a shame to call her back again
    And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
    What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
    And would not force the letter to my view!
    Since maids, in modesty, say 'no' to that
    Which they would have the profferer construe 'ay.'
    Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
    That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse
    And presently all humbled kiss the rod!
    How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
    When willingly I would have had her here!
    How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
    When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!
    My penance is to call Lucetta back
    And ask remission for my folly past.
    What ho! Lucetta!
    Re-enter LUCETTA
    LUCETTA
    What would your ladyship?
    JULIA
    Is't near dinner-time?
    LUCETTA
    I would it were,
    That you might kill your stomach on your meat
    And not upon your maid.
    JULIA
    What is't that you took up so gingerly?
    LUCETTA
    Nothing.
    JULIA
    Why didst thou stoop, then?
    LUCETTA
    To take a paper up that I let fall.
    JULIA
    And is that paper nothing?
    LUCETTA
    Nothing concerning me.
    JULIA
    Then let it lie for those that it concerns.
    LUCETTA
    Madam, it will not lie where it concerns
    Unless it have a false interpeter.
    JULIA
    Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
    LUCETTA
    That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
    Give me a note: your ladyship can set.
    JULIA
    As little by such toys as may be possible.
    Best sing it to the tune of 'Light o' love.'
    LUCETTA
    It is too heavy for so light a tune.
    JULIA
    Heavy! belike it hath some burden then?
    LUCETTA
    Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.
    JULIA
    And why not you?
    LUCETTA
    I cannot reach so high.
    JULIA
    Let's see your song. How now, minion!
    LUCETTA
    Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:
    And yet methinks I do not like this tune.
    JULIA
    You do not?
    LUCETTA
    No, madam; it is too sharp.
    JULIA
    You, minion, are too saucy.
    LUCETTA
    Nay, now you are too flat
    And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:
    There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
    JULIA
    The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass.
    LUCETTA
    Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
    JULIA
    This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
    Here is a coil with protestation!
    Tears the letter
    Go get you gone, and let the papers lie:
    You would be fingering them, to anger me.
    LUCETTA
    She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased
    To be so anger'd with another letter.
    Exit
    JULIA
    Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!
    O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
    Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
    And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
    I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
    Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!
    As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
    I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
    Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
    And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.'
    Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed
    Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd;
    And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
    But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down.
    Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
    Till I have found each letter in the letter,
    Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
    Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
    And throw it thence into the raging sea!
    Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
    'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
    To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away.
    And yet I will not, sith so prettily
    He couples it to his complaining names.
    Thus will I fold them one on another:
    Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
    Re-enter LUCETTA
    LUCETTA
    Madam,
    Dinner is ready, and your father stays.
    JULIA
    Well, let us go.
    LUCETTA
    What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?
    JULIA
    If you respect them, best to take them up.
    LUCETTA
    Nay, I was taken up for laying them down:
    Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
    JULIA
    I see you have a month's mind to them.
    LUCETTA
    Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;
    I see things too, although you judge I wink.
    JULIA
    Come, come; will't please you go?
    Exeunt