Sonnet 42
That thou hast her, it is not all my grief,
infidelity
jealousy
logic
love
That thou hast her, it is not all my grief,
And yet it may be said I loved her dearly;
That she hath thee, is of my wailing chief,
A loss in love that touches me more nearly.
Loving offenders, thus I will excuse ye:
Thou dost love her, because thou knowst I love her;
And for my sake even so doth she abuse me,
Suffering my friend for my sake to approve her.
If I lose thee, my loss is my love's gain,
And losing her, my friend hath found that loss;
Both find each other, and I lose both twain,
And both for my sake lay on me this cross:
But here's the joy; my friend and I are one;
Sweet flattery! then she loves but me alone.
What It Means
The most analytical of the triangle sonnets. Shakespeare breaks down his grief: it's not losing the mistress that hurts, it's that you took her knowing she was mine. His consolation is a logical trick: she loves me because she loves you, and you love her for my sake. So all three are in it together, and the real loss is just me grieving myself. It's a piece of elaborate self-consolation that just barely holds together.
Context
Part of the Fair Youth sequence, the final sonnet in the triangle group (40–42).
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