The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act 4, Scene 1

    comedy

    A street.

    Scene Summary

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    William Page has a Latin lesson with his teacher while Mistress Quickly provides comic commentary on the vocabulary.

    Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM PAGE
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but,
    truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing
    into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young
    man here to school. Look, where his master comes;
    'tis a playing-day, I see.
    Enter SIR HUGH EVANS
    How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Blessing of his heart!
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in
    the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some
    questions in his accidence.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your
    master, be not afraid.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    William, how many numbers is in nouns?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Two.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Truly, I thought there had been one number more,
    because they say, ''Od's nouns.'
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Pulcher.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace.
    What is 'lapis,' William?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    A stone.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    And what is 'a stone,' William?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    A pebble.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain.
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Lapis.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    That is a good William. What is he, William, that
    does lend articles?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus
    declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark:
    genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Accusativo, hinc.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    I pray you, have your remembrance, child,
    accusative, hung, hang, hog.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative
    case, William?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    O,--vocativo, O.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    Remember, William; focative is caret.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    And that's a good root.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    'Oman, forbear.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Peace!
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    What is your genitive case plural, William?
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Genitive case!
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    Ay.
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name
    her, child, if she be a whore.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    For shame, 'oman.
    MISTRESS QUICKLY
    You do ill to teach the child such words: he
    teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do
    fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you!
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no
    understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the
    genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
    I would desires.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Prithee, hold thy peace.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.
    WILLIAM PAGE
    Forsooth, I have forgot.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'
    your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be
    preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    He is a better scholar than I thought he was.
    SIR HUGH EVANS
    He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.
    MISTRESS PAGE
    Adieu, good Sir Hugh.
    Exit SIR HUGH EVANS
    Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.
    Exeunt