Sonnet 110
Alas, 'tis true I have gone here and there
self-criticism
forgiveness
fidelity
return
Alas, 'tis true I have gone here and there
And made myself a motley to the view,
Gored mine own thoughts, sold cheap what is most dear,
Made old offences of affections new;
Most true it is that I have look'd on truth
Askance and strangely: but, by all above,
These blenches gave my heart another youth,
And worse essays proved thee my best of love.
Now all is done, have what shall have no end:
Mine appetite I never more will grind
On newer proof, to try an older friend,
A god in love, to whom I am confined.
Then give me welcome, next my heaven the best,
Even to thy pure and most most loving breast.
What It Means
Shakespeare admits fault. He has played the 'motley' — the clown, the performer, going everywhere and being available to everyone. He has made himself common, cheapened himself with bad choices. But all of that was error leading him back to the true thing. The young man is his 'next self' — Shakespeare is asking forgiveness and offering a cleaned-up heart.
Context
Part of the Fair Youth sequence. The reference to playing the 'motley' is read as Shakespeare commenting on his life as an actor.
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